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Artep: Thy will be done on earth as is done in hell

20/09/10  ||  Trauma

WHY?

Please tell me.

No, I shouldn’t have to clarify my question, just merely repeat it.

WHY?

… … …

Oh, fuck it. You seriously want it clarified? Take… just take a look at this wonderful example of photo editing that is the cover. Check out the MySpace for a full high res money shot.

Does my question seem a little clearer to you yet?

Oh, shame on me. I completely forgot the most important kinds of pictures:

Getting gay with gay.

Look, they almost literally have the same kind of eye makeup on. Is Artep a female? Sure has the hips to be one. Wouldn’t she be a shitty copycat of Otep, then? Congratulations, you are not original.

Getting gay with fire.

Haha, look at how badass they are. They need to have pictures with fire and the forest, but the forest needs to be at least 100 feet away so as to not accidentally burn it down! Luckily there are plenty of gravel roads in the grim and trve forests of Canada. That chainmail vest on the fat dude at least looks slimming.

Now granted, these are not nearly as silly as some specimens we have had to suffer through around here, but come on. The music is not nearly badass enough to make up for looking like retards, you know. Immortal got that right, at least.

This is a mix of shit + Dimmu Borgir + synths + weak production. It’s not lo-fi, it’s just terribly weak. They can do some things right, like the first twenty seconds of the second track, or more specifically the first song. Yeah, there’s an intro. Fuck you guys (not you the readers, but you the band), black metal or not symphonic intros are usually a failure. Yours isn’t, but you’re black metal of the worst kind so it’s moot, or something. Anyways, back to what I was saying: they do some things right at first, but things completely fail with an emphasis on terribly once the vocals start. It’s a direct copy of that telephone + chorus effect Dimmu Borkbork uses frequently (or more specifically in my case on “PEM” since that’s all I know of them) on the vocals. It sucks and it’s used exclusively. Fucken fuck you.

Let’s not leave out the horrid production, especially with regards to the drums once the vocals start. The snare is so shitty it’s laughable. Hahahahahaha — see? I can’t even be angrily annoyed any more. This band thinks it sounds good to blast over vocals with absolutely no power behind anything. As far as the title goes: if it’s a reference to/play on the Hail Mary passage, from what I remember being a Catholic a billion years ago it should be Thy will be done on Earth “as it is in heaven”. Even if I’m wrong, “as is done in hell” does not flow as a title and further adds to the shittiness that is this album.

Best be cautious, or else the boogeymen will get me!

Beware of... the... CLAW!

This sucks and there’s no reason for me to even willfully listen to this ever again. Fuck you and the dildos you rode in on.

2

  • Information
  • Released: 2010
  • Label: Bleak Art Records
  • Website: Artep MySpace
  • Band
  • Otep: vocals, guitar, synthesizers
  • Vulturous: vocals, guitar
  • Tarotble: bass
  • Ishmaelstrom: drums
  • Tracklist
    01. A test of your patience
    02. A cock tease ending in castration
    03. Rabblerabblerabble
    04. 45 seconds of melody inside ~5 minutes of torture
    05. Horribly loud snare and synth overload
    06. Antichristian cliché
    07. I spit fire on bunnies
    08. I whisper into telephones
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